Post by She Who Is Ignorant on Jul 23, 2006 1:16:09 GMT -5
Sit tight, it's time for Headmaster Subla Needlessgore's start of term speech!
It was the high point of the feast and it was also the low point, it was time for Headmaster Subla Needlessgore's annual* speech.
The speech was the time of year when the rambling cover-ups and reasons for closures were explained to the uncaring students.
The giant plasma screen descended with the usual frightening screeches and grinding of the turning cogs, and switched into life. Subla’s face suddenly appeared, filling the full screen and several of the newer students started with fright. “Is this on...? Right okay…”
Subla's face shrank back and his body came into view. He was sitting in a wooden cushioned armchair, covered entirely in plastic, and wearing a white hospital gown and surgical mask; this was the usual sight to the returning students. This time around however there was a new addition to his attire that made the students murmur, but not out of surprise: Subla's hands and legs were bound and shackled in heavy white plastic.
“Stop murmuring out there!” Subla bellowed “Don't think I can't hear you, because I can!”
This year Subla had spent most of the budget on miniature microphones, so he could not only see what was going on in the school, he could hear it too.
“Now, you may be wondering about this,” he started, rattling his chains.
“Well, I've been arrested.” None of the students looked surprised, felt surprised, and most had been expecting this day would come... again.
“Not to worry, just some hoo harr about tax fraud, embezzlement and gross negligence. I've been put under house arrest seeing as I have a job to do. NO SCOFFING!” he yelled at a student who scoffed at his remark.
“Now where was I... oh yes, I've been arrested....” he went on, repeating himself.
“... as I have a job to do. Unfortunately there were also some severe fines to go with my sentence, so there have once more been budget cuts. Several of the floors are open for lease, the elves have been sold off, and special Cockney Cooking lessons have been opened up before lunch, breakfast and dinner. The dungeons have also been rented out to Azkaban and are now housing their best and brightest dangerous criminals. Oh, and if anybody is planning to set the school on fire this year, please feel free.” He paused “And be WARNED, we have also found a way to sell off time and its relativity, so don't be surprised if you find yourself in two places at once, or if the speed of time seems erratic. NO LOOKING PUZZLED!” he yelled at a puzzled 1st year. “Now where was I... oh yes. Now, you may be wondering about this,” he continued yet again and 20 minutes later, which because of the erraticness of time it was only two minutes, he finally finished.
*Annual being a flexible term
FOUR DAYS WITHOUT A MURDER!!!!
Hogwarts School of the Brave and the Ignorant, Headmaster Subla Needlessgore, is now accepting enrolments. As a matter of fact, they are always accepting enrolments. To be frank, they are so much in need of the money new enrolments bring in that they are willing to do almost anything to get them.
Hogwarts School of the Brave and the Ignorant is the famed Wizards school, the place where students learn various magical skills in the hope that it will prepare them for the outside world. Newly re-opened, for what seems like the thousandth time since Subla Needlessgore became Headmaster, the school has had to make a few changes in order to comply with new budgetary restrictions. However, the dedicated staff will continue to try and teach the unteachable, no matter what happens, as long as their pay cheques continue to arrive on time.
This is not your average Harry Potter RPG. This is a parody, a place to vent your silly side! We're a small community eager for new members and the fun that they bring to the game.
This is a place where anything goes. Want to play an eleven year old with a wooden leg who wants to be a pirate? How about a boy whose owl got lost, and is only just starting his first year at the age of 16? What about a boy who decided he'd re-enrol as a girl, whilst maintaining his previous enrolment at the same time? Well, tough luck, those ones are taken. But anything else you can think of, bring it along!
So come take a look! The school can't hang onto their record-breaking four day murder free streak forever - and maybe it will be your character who tips the scales! Or not - you can never tell at this place!
HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF THE BRAVE AND THE IGNORANT (click here!)
It was the high point of the feast and it was also the low point, it was time for Headmaster Subla Needlessgore's annual* speech.
The speech was the time of year when the rambling cover-ups and reasons for closures were explained to the uncaring students.
The giant plasma screen descended with the usual frightening screeches and grinding of the turning cogs, and switched into life. Subla’s face suddenly appeared, filling the full screen and several of the newer students started with fright. “Is this on...? Right okay…”
Subla's face shrank back and his body came into view. He was sitting in a wooden cushioned armchair, covered entirely in plastic, and wearing a white hospital gown and surgical mask; this was the usual sight to the returning students. This time around however there was a new addition to his attire that made the students murmur, but not out of surprise: Subla's hands and legs were bound and shackled in heavy white plastic.
“Stop murmuring out there!” Subla bellowed “Don't think I can't hear you, because I can!”
This year Subla had spent most of the budget on miniature microphones, so he could not only see what was going on in the school, he could hear it too.
“Now, you may be wondering about this,” he started, rattling his chains.
“Well, I've been arrested.” None of the students looked surprised, felt surprised, and most had been expecting this day would come... again.
“Not to worry, just some hoo harr about tax fraud, embezzlement and gross negligence. I've been put under house arrest seeing as I have a job to do. NO SCOFFING!” he yelled at a student who scoffed at his remark.
“Now where was I... oh yes, I've been arrested....” he went on, repeating himself.
“... as I have a job to do. Unfortunately there were also some severe fines to go with my sentence, so there have once more been budget cuts. Several of the floors are open for lease, the elves have been sold off, and special Cockney Cooking lessons have been opened up before lunch, breakfast and dinner. The dungeons have also been rented out to Azkaban and are now housing their best and brightest dangerous criminals. Oh, and if anybody is planning to set the school on fire this year, please feel free.” He paused “And be WARNED, we have also found a way to sell off time and its relativity, so don't be surprised if you find yourself in two places at once, or if the speed of time seems erratic. NO LOOKING PUZZLED!” he yelled at a puzzled 1st year. “Now where was I... oh yes. Now, you may be wondering about this,” he continued yet again and 20 minutes later, which because of the erraticness of time it was only two minutes, he finally finished.
*Annual being a flexible term
FOUR DAYS WITHOUT A MURDER!!!!
Hogwarts School of the Brave and the Ignorant, Headmaster Subla Needlessgore, is now accepting enrolments. As a matter of fact, they are always accepting enrolments. To be frank, they are so much in need of the money new enrolments bring in that they are willing to do almost anything to get them.
Hogwarts School of the Brave and the Ignorant is the famed Wizards school, the place where students learn various magical skills in the hope that it will prepare them for the outside world. Newly re-opened, for what seems like the thousandth time since Subla Needlessgore became Headmaster, the school has had to make a few changes in order to comply with new budgetary restrictions. However, the dedicated staff will continue to try and teach the unteachable, no matter what happens, as long as their pay cheques continue to arrive on time.
This is not your average Harry Potter RPG. This is a parody, a place to vent your silly side! We're a small community eager for new members and the fun that they bring to the game.
This is a place where anything goes. Want to play an eleven year old with a wooden leg who wants to be a pirate? How about a boy whose owl got lost, and is only just starting his first year at the age of 16? What about a boy who decided he'd re-enrol as a girl, whilst maintaining his previous enrolment at the same time? Well, tough luck, those ones are taken. But anything else you can think of, bring it along!
So come take a look! The school can't hang onto their record-breaking four day murder free streak forever - and maybe it will be your character who tips the scales! Or not - you can never tell at this place!
HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF THE BRAVE AND THE IGNORANT (click here!)